I spent almost a week taking care of my sick wife while I was home and managed to stay healthy. The next week at home after that, I still managed to stay healthy. Now after almost a week onboard, I get the creepy crud with the same symptoms my wife had! It makes no sense!

Yesterday morning I woke up with a tight and painful cough and my throat felt like I had been gargling glass shards. I went to see the medic and she checked me out and her opinion is that it is just a bad cold. She gave me some flu and cold medicine and some throat lozenges that seem to help a little. (At least the cold and flu medicine which is similar to theraflu doesn't taste as nasty as theraflu.) So last night as I was trying to sleep, I kept waking up feeling like I had been run over by a shit wagon that dropped its load on me. I would wake up burning up and my legs aching like it was the flu after all. At least this morning, I feel notionally less bad (better would imply some semblance of good). I don't feel so feverish, though my legs still ache. My cough is not quite so bad and the shards of broken glass it feels like I had been gargling must have gotten smaller.

Well, the work I have to do today isn't getting done while I skive off with making this post, so I guess I should force myself to get back to work. Take care friends and I hope your week to come is a good one.

So. I finally finished this, and I've spent so much time thinking about it lately that I've given myself a headache.

Here's the thing. Or _a_ thing, anyway.

I hated Lord of the Flies - it was far too brutal for my school-aged sensibilities (and yes, I know that's sort of the point, but I still don't handle casual brutality of any flavor very well, and I find juvenile brutality particularly distasteful. Not because I don't recognize that children are capable of terrible violence, but because I know they _are_ and I hate seeing it portrayed in any way that might justify/glorify/excuse it) so when I realized the similarities here I was reluctant to read this. But everyone told me I should, so... (shrugs) What can I say? Peer pressure did me in.

And... I remain deeply ambivalent about it.

Honestly, the question of how people will behave when forced into extreme circumstances only interested me for the first two seasons of Survivor and then became tiresomely predictable. (Yes, I know those contestants are playing for money and these kids are playing for their lives, but I think the principles of behavior hold.) Sure, some people will make noble sacrifices, some will become villains, and most will fall along a spectrum involving the erosion of inhibitions as they feel justified in allowing their circumstances to dictate excuses for their choices.

The contestants in the Hunger Games are no different, although there is a potentially intriguing political angle here. The small ways in which the participants defy the Gamemakers interested me far more than their actual participation in the games, and one of my favorite moments in the entire book was when Rue's District sent a gift of bread to Katniss after she buried Rue in flowers.

I loved the cultural/political variations between the Districts, as revealed by the children and their lifestyles. And I loved Gale, largely because he reminded me so strongly of my husband.

But... the drama was predictable. I _knew_ Prim would be chosen. Knew Katniss and the boy with the bread would go. Knew they'd somehow end up winning together. (It would have been more interesting, actually, if they'd really been forced to fight to the death. Instead, it was as if Collins introduced a horrible moral dilemma and then neatly backed away from confronting it. Not that I minded a "happy ending" - as I said above, I hardly wanted to see more violence and cruelty, but... I'm not a fan of love triangles, either.)

I just... I felt manipulated. It was deftly done, I agree! And the pacing was perfect - I could hardly stand to set the book down, even to grab a tissue and blow my nose. And I liked the characters, with all their unique foibles and habits. Part of me thinks it's an author's job - I mean, doesn't every good book grab us and twist our emotions? Collins did a fantastic job in that respect. But... I didn't like feeling it happen as I read. It was... too transparent.

And... okay, I probably won't express this very well, but here's the circularity that makes my head ache:
The book highlights the cold cruelty of the Capitol and the Gamemakers by demonstrating their objectification and dehumanization of the tributes. These are _children_, after all, used as human sacrifice to build the strength of a government. Children being forced to play a deadly game for a Capitol's entertainment. And yet, we - as readers - are hardly better, for being held in thrall by the account. If that was the author's intent - to show us that we, as a culture, take too much pleasure in the fascination of violence - then it was brilliantly done. I mean, why else did so many people devour this book? They wanted to see how Peeta and Katniss would perform in the Games, whether they would survive or not. Just as Panem's audience did. But the reflection bothers me... I don't _want_ to be a heartless member of an audience, forced to watch children battle for their lives. Which, in its turn, further highlights the awfulness of the Capitol, making the story yet more effective... See? I go in circles.

And so I can't decide if I like this book and hate that I like it, or if I hate that it's so well-liked, or if I hate that it's capitalizing on the very thing it vilifies, or if I'm simply overthinking the whole thing. And I did wonder if my reactions are based on the fact I'm an adult and a parent - but, as I said, I doubt I would have liked this as a teen. So... I don't know. I'm still pondering.

It's brilliant, really, and I'll read the next book(s) because I'm interested in the political situation, but... I can't say this is a favorite. Still, it's made a far stronger impact than many other books I've read this year, so that's saying something.

This Writer's Block question amuses me because of how totally backwards it is to my current circumstances. I am currently traveling and will continue to do so over the holidays and beyond, but if things run true to form, technology may very likely add additional stress for me. So far technology was no help with the late flight arrival in Tulsa before I could fly to Houston. My flight left Tulsa 15 minutes late, but arrived in a very hazy Houston 30 minutes late to make up for it. Since the reason for my travel is to apply technology to map the subsurface below the ocean bottom and my work is the reason that I will not be home for the holidays, there is a requiste amount of stress before I even begin!

Though hopefully, the NorSat satellite communications technology will be stable enough that at least for Christmas I will be able to send holiday wishes to family and friends even if I will be in the middle of the South Atlantic Ocean at the time. I suppose only time and Murphy will tell how that works for me.

Meanwhile, at least with all of my travels over the past year, I have managed to achieve elite Gold status at Continental, so I get to munch on cheese and cracker in the President's Lounge in George Bush Interconental Airport while waiting for my flight to Brazil.

In case I have trouble with the satellite and internet when I get on the boat, I will wish all of my friends list a very happy holiday season and hope the new year brings good fortune to you all.

This is just a quick post from my blackberry before I head to the airport. This is my year to spend the end of the year on the boat so it is most likely going to be a whitecap Christmas for me. I'll try and post a bit more when I get to Houston from Continental's VIP lounge (gold elite status is something I could definitely grow accustomed to) from my laptop before continuing on to Rio de Janiero. (Today's Writer's Block subject amuses me, so my reply to it should follow from the airport.)

Yesterday afternoon, as I cast a baleful stare at books stacked three deep on dusty shelves, I said, "I wish books came with dust-repelling charms so I'd never have to go through the hassle of dusting them again. Instead, it's like they actually attract dust just so I have to move them all."

Daughter: "Maybe they're afraid you'll forget them."

Husband: "Maybe you just have too many books."

Daughter: "No, Mom needs all these books or she might run out of words. Haven't you noticed that when she's too busy to read she starts to forget what she's saying?"

Son: "Yeah, she'll start a sentence and then forget to finish it, kind of like..." ::voice trails away::

Husband: "But we have a dictionary."

Son: "Dictionary?"

Husband: "That big red book Mom set her computer on over there. It's full of words. In fact, it contains almost every word in the English language. It can give Mom all the words she needs. That's what it's for."

Son: "No, Dad. That's for smashing bugs."

Everything technical thing I have tried to do this week has met with abysmal failure! Whether it be work related stuff (Which btw my Double SOB backwards has struck again! Once again he has canceled the video conference {third time was NOT a charm} and now it is a race to see if I can get one extra day at home or will still have to leave on Sunday with no reason to be in Rio a day early. I guess it comes down to the economics of paying me extra {travel day and expenses} or paying a change of flights fee to the airline.) Anyway, back to the techno-rant...it seems that my ability to access the company's VPN has been dodgy at best. At home I could not access it at all! At my Dad's house, I could access it long enough to get good(?) news about maybe getting to stay home for my wife's stores Christmas party (not that I want to go to a Wally-World Christmas party, but the extra day home would be nice), but that was about it. I also have been trying to do other things making use of my Dad's higher speed DSL connection, but AT&T, his wireless router or the internet itself has made that an exercise in frustration!

Other things remain to be updated as well, such as my latest medical tidbits (I am not heartless, my EKG and bio-impedance scan proved it!) regarding me and my family. My daughter had surgery last Friday and is recovering. My wife has had a nasty cold that she has been trying very hard to be a good sharing wife and give to me, but so far, my immune system has repelled all invaders. (It will probably wait to attack me when I go through the temperature shock next week leaving the frozen tundra that Okie-land has become the past few days for Summer time Brazilian sauna weather.) My stepmother's dementia has gotten worse and I have decided that there is only so much "Dave" patience to go around and playing nursemaid for my wife and her desire to be babied when ill has taken it's toll and so there is little patience left for my stepmother's Alzheimer's disease.

OK, this post is random and disjointed, but right now so am I! I hope my friends out there in internet land are having a better December than I and that the Holidays are kind to you!

Special thanks to mermaiden and inkbabies for the snowflakes!! I've never had a virtual gift before. :D You have made my day - thank you so much!!

*love*

As most of you know by now, I love Graceling by Kristin Cashore. I love it enough to admit to owning two copies: a paperback ARC and a hardcover edition. It is, without doubt, one of my all-time favorite books and a story that still creeps into my consciousness at unexpected moments.

So when Fire was released - a loosely related companion to Graceling - I immediately bought a hardcover copy. But I couldn't bring myself to read it.

Oh, I peeked inside - who could resist? - and read the first chapter or so. But I was horribly afraid I wouldn't like it as well as I liked Graceling. The flap copy - about colorful monsters and an irresistible beauty - tweaked my skepticism. I kept putting it off, though it sat on top of my TBR pile, enticing me with it's lovely cover. Curiosity finally got the better of me and I read it today.

You guys, I *loved* it. Easily as much as I loved Graceling. I seriously hope I get to meet Kristin Cashore sometime, because I want to thank her in person. It is... amazing. She is amazing. ::fangirl::

So, Fire is a human "monster" - she's terrible and beautiful, frightening and compelling. Between her father's legacy and her own natural ability to influence and understand ordinary people's most intimate thoughts, she's both a dangerous adversary and a valuable ally. But what she really wants is to be her own woman, free to live and love as she chooses. In a land poised on the brink of war, however, every day is a fight. As she struggles to define her role in the world, she must come to terms with her nature, her choices, and her history. In shaping the structure of her life, she will influence the course of a kingdom.

Her story is fascinating, with elements of intrigue, politics, fantasy and romance blending seamlessly in a richly layered drama. Fire feels authentic, and her love is achingly real. She's strong but compassionate - and unlike some heroines I've seen lately, her strength does not come at the expense of her femininity. She's not a man in a woman's clothing and I loved seeing her forced to confront challenges unique to a woman's experience. (She gets PMS!) There's a thematic current of... fertility and motherhood... running through the story, although these issues do not necessarily define either the characters or the plot, nor do they diminish a woman's other roles. And, on a larger scale, I *loved* seeing issues of chance vs choice, destiny vs determination, past legacy vs present life played out against a beautifully rendered backdrop. I also loved the nuances/contradictions in using a word like "monster" to refer to creatures with extraordinary beauty and persuasive abilities, and I loved the ethical implications of pursuing duty at the cost of lives - Cashore's characters must examine the boundary between monstrous and heroic and then live with the consequences of their decisions. There are no easy outs, here, only cold and brutal realities. The "happy ending" comes after the anguish of guilt, loss, betrayal, and final forgiveness, giving the story emotional significance and stark impact.

And there are horses. :)

This: From the warmth of her fondness for her horse she constructed a fragile and changeable thing that almost resembled courage. She hoped it would be enough. This refers to her loyal companion, Small, and resonated on a deeply personal level. My new favorite mantra. :)

And this: Her feeling was strange and wild, her mind a marvelous unbroken thing that Fire could touch and influence, but never truly comprehend. She belonged alone on the rocks, unconstrained, and vicious when she needed to be. And yet there was love in the feeling of her too... refers to a wild river horse that helps Fire in her darkest hour. This could refer to my own wild Gypsy - words imprinted on my soul.

I loved every bit of Fire and highly, highly recommend it.